This past week has been hard. Hard trying to settle into a routine again, Hard trying to clean the house again, Hard trying to maintain at the level I am used to, Hard getting back into the exercise swing of things, Hard because I am still going 2/3times a week for blood draws to check on my blood levels, Hard admitting that I still cannot do it all and Hard being okay with that.
HARD
However, I am getting through each day with less and less pain. And this experience has been a test of my humility and strength. I know the Lord knew what he was doing when my minor surgery veered off course.
I am having to daily focus on what my body can do and not what my brain says it can do. Because my brain says that I can do 3 loads of laundry & carry it up the stairs, sweep/mop floors, cook fabulous meals for my family and still have time to do a puzzle or craft with the kids.
BUT
My body says - "ahh, 1 load of laundry is good and it can wait to go upstairs till Bill gets home" and "lets just lay on the couch for a few minutes"
Honesty, things are going smoother. The kids have really stepped up helping. The house actually looks good a bit dirtier than normal. Ahhh, did I just type that???
The most frustrating part of this recovery is proving to be the blood clots. The 2/3 weekly trips to get my blood drawn to check the med levels in my blood are getting frustrating and time consuming. This part of the process is where I am finding it hard to see the big picture. And it seems every time I go in I find out new information on blood clots or the medicine I am on. Yesterday, I was told "increased activity will increase your med levels" - WHAT??
I might have said something along the lines of "Then what am I suppose to do sit on my A%$ for the next 3months?"
This New Normal thing is hard work! But I am trying ..... just keep swimming, just keep swimming
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Minor surgery turns major - part 2
At the hospital I was sent to the Vascular Clinic. And it is here I met a great team of nurses, ultrasound techs and doctor who would diagnosis and start my treatment.
What is a blood clot? A Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) is a blood clot that has formed in a deep vein. They more commonly occur in leg veins and when they do they originate in the calf. The blood stops flowing properly and begins to pool together thus creating the "clot".
What causes DVT's? Risks of forming a DVT include prolonged sitting, bed rest or immobilization, recent surgery or trauma, fractures, childbirth within past 6months and the use of medications like estrogen or birth control pills. The doctor who treated me said that 1 out of 5 knee surgery patients will develop blood clots. Crazy!
How do we treat a DVT or in my case 3 DVT's? Treatment usually lasts 3-6months and the factors surrounding timing have a wide range. I was given an immediate dose of Lovenox - which is administered by injection and of which I have been giving myself daily since being diagnosed. And orally by mouth the drug Coumadin. The Coumadin will be my main form of medication once my blood thinness level reaches a INR of 2.0 - 3.0. The Coumadin takes about a week to get to peak level in your blood and "thin" it. So they combine the treatment in the beginning with the drug Lovenox. Most everyone has a blood "thinness" of 1.0 or lower. But when you have a blood clot you need your blood to become considerably "thinner" to help break up and disperse the blood clots & get the blood flowing in the affected veins. And the BEST part is my new sock that I have to wear from the moment my foot hits the floor in the morning till bed......a medical compression sock.
What does this mean for me? Until my INR blood levels get up to 2.0+ I will be giving myself the injections and oral amt of Coumadin. They will monitor me by taking my blood when I visit the Anticoagulation Clinic. I will be visiting this clinic daily till my levels get stable and stay stable. After they are stable I can visit 1x a week until my treatment is over. My levels reached a 2 today and I have to go in tomorrow for another blood draw. I am hoping to drop down my visits this week and not have to go every day. I also have to have an ultrasound every week of my calf until the blood clots are gone and have not moved.
A few warnings come along with the meds & condition:
- bruise more easily (yep, I have bruises from each injection on my stomach & each blood draw)
- bleed for longer when cut
- no dental work while being treated (risk of bleeding gums)
- no aspirin or aleve products
- no over the counter meds and most antibiotics
- you have a lower immune system - we'll see how this goes with 3 little kids in our house
- cannot high amounts of foods with Vit K (think dark green veggies, blueberries, pumpkin)
- should not drink alcohol or limit it (great there goes Thanksgiving!)
Once I am stable & clots are gone we will have to figure out what a new normal is for me. I am thankful that I listened to my gut and called the doctor. I am thankful for the care I am receiving and that it is treatable. And even though I know it's silly I have found myself asking "Why?" So for now I am trying to trust in the Lord and recognize that He has a bigger plan for all of this.
What is a blood clot? A Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) is a blood clot that has formed in a deep vein. They more commonly occur in leg veins and when they do they originate in the calf. The blood stops flowing properly and begins to pool together thus creating the "clot".
What causes DVT's? Risks of forming a DVT include prolonged sitting, bed rest or immobilization, recent surgery or trauma, fractures, childbirth within past 6months and the use of medications like estrogen or birth control pills. The doctor who treated me said that 1 out of 5 knee surgery patients will develop blood clots. Crazy!
How do we treat a DVT or in my case 3 DVT's? Treatment usually lasts 3-6months and the factors surrounding timing have a wide range. I was given an immediate dose of Lovenox - which is administered by injection and of which I have been giving myself daily since being diagnosed. And orally by mouth the drug Coumadin. The Coumadin will be my main form of medication once my blood thinness level reaches a INR of 2.0 - 3.0. The Coumadin takes about a week to get to peak level in your blood and "thin" it. So they combine the treatment in the beginning with the drug Lovenox. Most everyone has a blood "thinness" of 1.0 or lower. But when you have a blood clot you need your blood to become considerably "thinner" to help break up and disperse the blood clots & get the blood flowing in the affected veins. And the BEST part is my new sock that I have to wear from the moment my foot hits the floor in the morning till bed......a medical compression sock.
What does this mean for me? Until my INR blood levels get up to 2.0+ I will be giving myself the injections and oral amt of Coumadin. They will monitor me by taking my blood when I visit the Anticoagulation Clinic. I will be visiting this clinic daily till my levels get stable and stay stable. After they are stable I can visit 1x a week until my treatment is over. My levels reached a 2 today and I have to go in tomorrow for another blood draw. I am hoping to drop down my visits this week and not have to go every day. I also have to have an ultrasound every week of my calf until the blood clots are gone and have not moved.
A few warnings come along with the meds & condition:
- bruise more easily (yep, I have bruises from each injection on my stomach & each blood draw)
- bleed for longer when cut
- no dental work while being treated (risk of bleeding gums)
- no aspirin or aleve products
- no over the counter meds and most antibiotics
- you have a lower immune system - we'll see how this goes with 3 little kids in our house
- cannot high amounts of foods with Vit K (think dark green veggies, blueberries, pumpkin)
- should not drink alcohol or limit it (great there goes Thanksgiving!)
Once I am stable & clots are gone we will have to figure out what a new normal is for me. I am thankful that I listened to my gut and called the doctor. I am thankful for the care I am receiving and that it is treatable. And even though I know it's silly I have found myself asking "Why?" So for now I am trying to trust in the Lord and recognize that He has a bigger plan for all of this.
Friday, October 19, 2012
A minor surgery goes major - part 1
Monday was the day of my "minor knee surgery" to repair my torn meniscus. I met with the surgeon the week before and we went over what to expect/not expect after the surgery. He did say at one point "The MRI only gives me a general idea, I wont really know how bad it is in there until I get in there".
The surgery time was 3:15 Monday afternoon. Bill and I worked out a plan that he would take girls to school & work (I work at their school on Mondays to offset tuition cost) and I would stay at home with little man. Little man had a speech evaluation that had been scheduled for weeks. And going to the girls school with the smell of coffee/food in the church cafe probably not a great idea for me.
After school was over I took a little nap while Bill fed the kids and his parents arrived. And then we headed into Seattle for my "minor knee surgery". I had told everyone "It's not a big deal, it's an easy surgery" and normally it is. I should've known when they hadn't taken me back at 3 that things were going down hill. Bill finally asked and they said "OH, the doctor is running behind we will get her back in 20mins"
Finally, at 3:30 they came for me and I got to get all dressed up in my fancy gown, socks & hat. Yes, they made me wear this funny knit hat thing. They took me back shortly after that. The operating room overlooked Seattle skyline & it was raining. So it was kinda of cool to see from the operating room as I laid down on the table - which was heated by the way! The anesthesiologist numbed my arm and tried to get my vein for the iv. After 3attempts he finally found a vein in my wrist that he could use for my iv. Thank goodness for that numbing agent or else I would've been dying. (I have deep vein issues, veins that roll & disappear and result in my arms being human pin cushions.)
I woke up in recovery a little after 5 and they soon got Bill for me. I got a little sick from the anesthesia but they were able to keep me from a huge puke fest. Good thing. Sadly their parking lot didn't fair better though! The doctor said the tear in my meniscus wasn't as bad as he thought but that the other cartilage damage in my knee was worse than he had expected. He sent me home with some nifty pictures. Let me know if you want to see them.
After stopping to get my pain meds we were home and I was in bed by 9pm. I didn't sleep as well as I had hoped even being on pain meds. And again this should've been a sign they say. By 6am I was wide away (only sleeping 3hrs) and having a charlie horse in my calf under the bad knee. Bill got me some more water and a banana. By 8am I was still having the charlie horse pain and I jokingly said "Maybe it's a blood clot" and Bill said "It's not a blood clot, stop saying that" and we laughed it off. By 11am I called the doctor's office and left a message with my symptoms. I also still wasn't able to sleep either no matter how hard I tried.
At 3pm the call came from the nurse. She asked me several questions and then I heard these works "How fast can you get back here?" and I said an hour. And she said "You need to get here as soon as possible we believe you have a blood clot and you need to be seen immediately"
We called the in laws who met us at the hospital and we went into the Vascular center within the hospital to be seen. An ultrasound on my leg revealed 3 blood clots. Three of the four veins in my lower calf were blocked with different size clots. And this is where the story gets fun. This is where a "minor surgery" has rocked my world.
The surgery time was 3:15 Monday afternoon. Bill and I worked out a plan that he would take girls to school & work (I work at their school on Mondays to offset tuition cost) and I would stay at home with little man. Little man had a speech evaluation that had been scheduled for weeks. And going to the girls school with the smell of coffee/food in the church cafe probably not a great idea for me.
After school was over I took a little nap while Bill fed the kids and his parents arrived. And then we headed into Seattle for my "minor knee surgery". I had told everyone "It's not a big deal, it's an easy surgery" and normally it is. I should've known when they hadn't taken me back at 3 that things were going down hill. Bill finally asked and they said "OH, the doctor is running behind we will get her back in 20mins"
Finally, at 3:30 they came for me and I got to get all dressed up in my fancy gown, socks & hat. Yes, they made me wear this funny knit hat thing. They took me back shortly after that. The operating room overlooked Seattle skyline & it was raining. So it was kinda of cool to see from the operating room as I laid down on the table - which was heated by the way! The anesthesiologist numbed my arm and tried to get my vein for the iv. After 3attempts he finally found a vein in my wrist that he could use for my iv. Thank goodness for that numbing agent or else I would've been dying. (I have deep vein issues, veins that roll & disappear and result in my arms being human pin cushions.)
I woke up in recovery a little after 5 and they soon got Bill for me. I got a little sick from the anesthesia but they were able to keep me from a huge puke fest. Good thing. Sadly their parking lot didn't fair better though! The doctor said the tear in my meniscus wasn't as bad as he thought but that the other cartilage damage in my knee was worse than he had expected. He sent me home with some nifty pictures. Let me know if you want to see them.
After stopping to get my pain meds we were home and I was in bed by 9pm. I didn't sleep as well as I had hoped even being on pain meds. And again this should've been a sign they say. By 6am I was wide away (only sleeping 3hrs) and having a charlie horse in my calf under the bad knee. Bill got me some more water and a banana. By 8am I was still having the charlie horse pain and I jokingly said "Maybe it's a blood clot" and Bill said "It's not a blood clot, stop saying that" and we laughed it off. By 11am I called the doctor's office and left a message with my symptoms. I also still wasn't able to sleep either no matter how hard I tried.
At 3pm the call came from the nurse. She asked me several questions and then I heard these works "How fast can you get back here?" and I said an hour. And she said "You need to get here as soon as possible we believe you have a blood clot and you need to be seen immediately"
We called the in laws who met us at the hospital and we went into the Vascular center within the hospital to be seen. An ultrasound on my leg revealed 3 blood clots. Three of the four veins in my lower calf were blocked with different size clots. And this is where the story gets fun. This is where a "minor surgery" has rocked my world.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
The Results......Torn Meniscus
I have been waiting till I knew for sure but today I got the call. Yesterdays MRI confirmed what my doctor and I suspected. I have a torn Left Knee Meniscus. To tell you the truth until my doctor told me what he suspected I didn't truly know what a Meniscus was. But boy do I know what one is now!! Thanks to Google OR not.
The meniscus is a piece of cartilage that provides a cushion between your thighbone (femur) and shinbone (tibia). There are two menisci in each knee joint. They can be damaged or torn during activities that put pressure on or rotate the knee joint.
I have a "medium to severe" tear. I do know that is bad, bad enough to cause the "locking" up of my knee that I have been experiencing when I run or go down the stairs. OR even lying in bed the other night I moved just right and my knee locked up. Luckily it doesn't stay locked long but enough to get my attention. When you have a bigger tear you get the locking issues. The "tear" flaps over inside the knee causing the knee to lock up because that meniscus should be flat all the time so you bones can glide over on another. When they cannot glide, you cannot move your knee = the locking.
See aren't you glad I did some research for you?
So what does this mean? It means surgery to fix. It's a day surgery so not too terrible. I meet with a surgeon on Thursday.
Want to know the crazy thing? So there are 3 of us in my running group. And my buddy Karen has the EXACT same thing going on with her right knee. She met with her surgeon yesterday and is having surgery next Thursday.
We have been keeping each other positive and sharing our research/doctor knowledge.
The good thing is the surgery recovery time isn't that long & you can start exercising pretty quickly afterwards. In fact it's encouraged so you can get your knee working again. The nice thing about this surgery is once the meniscus is fixed you're good to go. It's not like repairing a muscle or tendon. Where if you exercise to quickly after surgery you can hurt it again. Once the meniscus is fixed, it's fixed.
It's the Best worst case for a sports injury.
And yes, I am still planning on doing the Tinkerbell in January. The doctor said I could be up and running for it. I wont finish in a stellar time but hey I wasn't planning on a wonderful time. It's my first half so no matter what I will PR, ha!
The meniscus is a piece of cartilage that provides a cushion between your thighbone (femur) and shinbone (tibia). There are two menisci in each knee joint. They can be damaged or torn during activities that put pressure on or rotate the knee joint.
I have a "medium to severe" tear. I do know that is bad, bad enough to cause the "locking" up of my knee that I have been experiencing when I run or go down the stairs. OR even lying in bed the other night I moved just right and my knee locked up. Luckily it doesn't stay locked long but enough to get my attention. When you have a bigger tear you get the locking issues. The "tear" flaps over inside the knee causing the knee to lock up because that meniscus should be flat all the time so you bones can glide over on another. When they cannot glide, you cannot move your knee = the locking.
See aren't you glad I did some research for you?
So what does this mean? It means surgery to fix. It's a day surgery so not too terrible. I meet with a surgeon on Thursday.
Want to know the crazy thing? So there are 3 of us in my running group. And my buddy Karen has the EXACT same thing going on with her right knee. She met with her surgeon yesterday and is having surgery next Thursday.
We have been keeping each other positive and sharing our research/doctor knowledge.
The good thing is the surgery recovery time isn't that long & you can start exercising pretty quickly afterwards. In fact it's encouraged so you can get your knee working again. The nice thing about this surgery is once the meniscus is fixed you're good to go. It's not like repairing a muscle or tendon. Where if you exercise to quickly after surgery you can hurt it again. Once the meniscus is fixed, it's fixed.
It's the Best worst case for a sports injury.
And yes, I am still planning on doing the Tinkerbell in January. The doctor said I could be up and running for it. I wont finish in a stellar time but hey I wasn't planning on a wonderful time. It's my first half so no matter what I will PR, ha!
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Inspiration
Do you need inspiration? When you do where do you get it from? Friends, spouse, kids, a book, prayer or better yet Google?
Well I have been in need of inspiration for awhile now. Training for this half marathon makes me have to be up to speed in the inspiration department.
The Tri was completed with the inspiration of my family. Seeing my kids faces as I passed by & hearing them cheer me on. Completing a goal and setting an example for my kids was my inspiration.
But the half marathon is for me. Plain and simple it's for me. For me to be able to say I did that, I ran 13.1 miles. And I am not the most optimistic person in case you didnt know.
I have been having to dig deep for inspiration for this half training. Yes, I have searched for inspirational quotes, browsed training websites & read the begining of some motivational books.(thank you kindle)
So I reach out to you, the blogging community.....
Inspiration - what does it mean to you, where do you get it and what makes you keep going - and it doesn't have to be in running.
Well I have been in need of inspiration for awhile now. Training for this half marathon makes me have to be up to speed in the inspiration department.
The Tri was completed with the inspiration of my family. Seeing my kids faces as I passed by & hearing them cheer me on. Completing a goal and setting an example for my kids was my inspiration.
But the half marathon is for me. Plain and simple it's for me. For me to be able to say I did that, I ran 13.1 miles. And I am not the most optimistic person in case you didnt know.
I have been having to dig deep for inspiration for this half training. Yes, I have searched for inspirational quotes, browsed training websites & read the begining of some motivational books.(thank you kindle)
So I reach out to you, the blogging community.....
Inspiration - what does it mean to you, where do you get it and what makes you keep going - and it doesn't have to be in running.
Friday, September 28, 2012
"It is still a mile"
The Tri was 3 weeks ago tomorrow. And for the past 3 weeks it's been hard to stay motivated and on track. Before I was exercising every day and being careful with the food I was consuming.
That all fell to the side once the Tri was finished! Working out has been there but not with the same intensity. And eating well, it's going - everything in site into my mouth!
It's not like I have a half-marathon to train for or anything, oh wait I do!
My knee has been bothering me on and off since the Tri. I messed it up royally again during the Tri and I have been paying for it since. The deep bruising has finally disappeared but the pain/ache/tightness still plagues me almost daily. I am trying to ease back into working out. Ease back into running but it's hard. My runs have been less than stellar. And then I found this post on my Facebook wall from a friend the other day. Let's just say it spoke volumes to me............
That all fell to the side once the Tri was finished! Working out has been there but not with the same intensity. And eating well, it's going - everything in site into my mouth!
It's not like I have a half-marathon to train for or anything, oh wait I do!
My knee has been bothering me on and off since the Tri. I messed it up royally again during the Tri and I have been paying for it since. The deep bruising has finally disappeared but the pain/ache/tightness still plagues me almost daily. I am trying to ease back into working out. Ease back into running but it's hard. My runs have been less than stellar. And then I found this post on my Facebook wall from a friend the other day. Let's just say it spoke volumes to me............
I have to keep reminding myself that no matter how long it takes me it's okay. I am still out there, I am trying & I am doing more than I did last year at this time. I guess till I am completely healed slow and steady will have to be my mantra.
Tomorrow I have my first long run in awhile. We are running 5.5 miles and I am scared to death. This will be the longest I have run in more than 9years, Yikes! I will keep you posted on my timing and how my knee holds up.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Mission Completed!
Yesterday was the day. Yesterday was what 9months of training came down too. The day of reckoning - my first Triathlon.
The night before we had to go down to the park and pick up our race packets, get marked and of course our swag. Inside our packets were our number (518), swim cap for our heat and other misc things. It was upon this packet pickup that I began to get really, really nervous. I mean like a deer in headlights nervous. And when I get nervous I get a bit pissy, I know me pissy seems a little un-real, Ha!
I had a freak out about a spare tire tub kit that I did not have and so Karyn stopped at a store and we gathered all the things I would need in case of said tire blow out. (didn't need it Thank God!) After I rushed the sitter home, picked up Teriyaki, put kids to bed, laid out all my items for the race and ate the said Teriyaki it was after 9pm. I was tired, stressed and my knee was killing me.
I crawled into bed with my ice packs and ibuprofen to try to get some sleep. At 10:00 I may have been still awake and a friend messaged me on facebook saying "go to bed". I fell asleep shortly after that and slept until 4am. I had set my alarm for 4:45 to get up, get ready & eat a hearty breakfast before my Tri buddies arrived to pick me up. Getting up so early gave me this time to relax, eat, have coffee, drink my water, Gatorade and mentally prep. And I felt good when they arrived. Relaxed and ready to tackle this Tri.
With my knee taped like I was going into battle I kissed my hubby and kids goodbye heading to check in. Promising to see them along the way. Bill, the kids and our friend Melinda were coming down to cheer us on along the race route. A few of our other friends came down to cheer us on. They made great signs and screamed, yelled and offered so much support to each of us as we swam, biked and ran by them. At one moment on my 2nd lap of the bike as I was riding past them I got all teared up.
The Swim was great and I finished better than I have during trainings. I am not going to lie looking out at the bouies and seeing the actual swim course was a little intimidating but I knew I could do it. Luckily my pre-swim jitters and nervous pee didn't stop me from swimming a good race. I was out and to the transition area. We wont mention that before I pulled my bike off the rack I put my helmet on the wrong way, ha! Got it on and was on the road for the bike.
As I have gone over the race in my mind and in discussions with Bill I have come to realize the bike was my downfall. I honestly wasn't ready for the bike. My issues with the bike started weeks ago when I tore my hamstring by using a bike that wasn't suited for my body. (too tall for it's frame) I quickly found another bike to borrow. And although this bike fit my frame I wasn't familiar with it and learning to ride an unfamiliar bike in a few days is harder than you'd think. I just never got the hang of how to use the gears on that bike correctly and make the ride more fluid. It may seem like riding a bike is easy why would this be a problem. However, in a bike race knowing when to shift down/up or go into a high gear/low gear is very important - especially for hills! Don't even get me started on hills.
The bike route was 4.5miles long with 1 big hill and several smaller "mounds" and we had to complete the course 2x. More than half the course was on a newly paved and flat road so that wouldn't be the hard part of the course for me. And lets not forget our awesome cheer sections positioned along this route that helped give us our motivation. Now only if they could've been on the hills, ha! On the first lap my bike chain fell off midway up the hill thanks to my awesome shifting abilities. A race bike "fairy" drove by and saw me trying to mess with it. After about 5mins he had me up and ready to go. At this point I may have said "I'm just going to walk the rest of the way up this hill " and he said "Yep, probably not a bad idea now" And I was on my way again. Passing by the cheer squads I may have been heard saying "This sucks" and someone said "Not as much as we do, you're doing this, we aren't". The chain issue plagued me again on the second lap but at least it was at the top of the hill this time. I was able to get it on myself and thankfully so because there was no bike "fairy" to help me.
I cruised into the transition area glad to be off that bike and ever so grateful to not be biking anymore. I got my footing and immediately felt my knee pop and the hamstring pulling. Yep, the run was going to be difficult for sure. I paced myself and walked/ran the first 1/4 mile or so. I passed Briana on her final 400 yards of the run and cheered her on. Excited to see her almost done, but also knowing that meant Karyn was already done. I was officially the last of our Tri Trio on the course. But sorrow did not set in. I looked at my watch and said "You can do this and you can finish before 10am" and the self motivation talk started:
You can do this
You are strong
You are a fighter
This injury will not define you
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime
I picked up some speed, got some high fives from a few elites who were on their 2nd lap of the run (they completed the entire course 2x) and finished before 10am. In fact I finished the run in like 18mins with a torn hamstring!
My final race time was 1:41 03 - and my Family and friends were on the other side cheering me on. I found Bill and embraced him with tears coming down my face. I had completed the race. I had set a goal and I had finished it. I had overcome a torn hamstring & bike issues to complete my first Tri and I was alive!!
I had said all along it wasn't about a time it was about finishing the race. Setting a goal and completing it. But who was I kidding, in my head I had made my own little competition and time. However, on the bike that 2nd loop I began to face the reality that I wasn't going to make that time and now more than ever it was about finishing. I am happy with my time. I am happy that I overcame everything to still finish. Plus, I can now say ........
I am a Tri-athlete! I finished a Triathlon.
Bring on next Tri season - bring it on.
Yep, you heard that right, this off season while I am training for the Tinkerbell I will be also eyeing down that 1:41 - I will squash that time next year, just after I get my own road bike!
And let's not forget about my girls. The ones who saw me through till the end. Who were there through all the tears and sweat. Who never said "No" and who completed this Tri with me. Karyn and Briana - You are both Amazing & Strong women who I am proud to have trained and raced alongside. Thanks for joining me on this wild & crazy ride. I love you both!
The night before we had to go down to the park and pick up our race packets, get marked and of course our swag. Inside our packets were our number (518), swim cap for our heat and other misc things. It was upon this packet pickup that I began to get really, really nervous. I mean like a deer in headlights nervous. And when I get nervous I get a bit pissy, I know me pissy seems a little un-real, Ha!
I had a freak out about a spare tire tub kit that I did not have and so Karyn stopped at a store and we gathered all the things I would need in case of said tire blow out. (didn't need it Thank God!) After I rushed the sitter home, picked up Teriyaki, put kids to bed, laid out all my items for the race and ate the said Teriyaki it was after 9pm. I was tired, stressed and my knee was killing me.
I crawled into bed with my ice packs and ibuprofen to try to get some sleep. At 10:00 I may have been still awake and a friend messaged me on facebook saying "go to bed". I fell asleep shortly after that and slept until 4am. I had set my alarm for 4:45 to get up, get ready & eat a hearty breakfast before my Tri buddies arrived to pick me up. Getting up so early gave me this time to relax, eat, have coffee, drink my water, Gatorade and mentally prep. And I felt good when they arrived. Relaxed and ready to tackle this Tri.
With my knee taped like I was going into battle I kissed my hubby and kids goodbye heading to check in. Promising to see them along the way. Bill, the kids and our friend Melinda were coming down to cheer us on along the race route. A few of our other friends came down to cheer us on. They made great signs and screamed, yelled and offered so much support to each of us as we swam, biked and ran by them. At one moment on my 2nd lap of the bike as I was riding past them I got all teared up.
As I have gone over the race in my mind and in discussions with Bill I have come to realize the bike was my downfall. I honestly wasn't ready for the bike. My issues with the bike started weeks ago when I tore my hamstring by using a bike that wasn't suited for my body. (too tall for it's frame) I quickly found another bike to borrow. And although this bike fit my frame I wasn't familiar with it and learning to ride an unfamiliar bike in a few days is harder than you'd think. I just never got the hang of how to use the gears on that bike correctly and make the ride more fluid. It may seem like riding a bike is easy why would this be a problem. However, in a bike race knowing when to shift down/up or go into a high gear/low gear is very important - especially for hills! Don't even get me started on hills.
The bike route was 4.5miles long with 1 big hill and several smaller "mounds" and we had to complete the course 2x. More than half the course was on a newly paved and flat road so that wouldn't be the hard part of the course for me. And lets not forget our awesome cheer sections positioned along this route that helped give us our motivation. Now only if they could've been on the hills, ha! On the first lap my bike chain fell off midway up the hill thanks to my awesome shifting abilities. A race bike "fairy" drove by and saw me trying to mess with it. After about 5mins he had me up and ready to go. At this point I may have said "I'm just going to walk the rest of the way up this hill " and he said "Yep, probably not a bad idea now" And I was on my way again. Passing by the cheer squads I may have been heard saying "This sucks" and someone said "Not as much as we do, you're doing this, we aren't". The chain issue plagued me again on the second lap but at least it was at the top of the hill this time. I was able to get it on myself and thankfully so because there was no bike "fairy" to help me.
I cruised into the transition area glad to be off that bike and ever so grateful to not be biking anymore. I got my footing and immediately felt my knee pop and the hamstring pulling. Yep, the run was going to be difficult for sure. I paced myself and walked/ran the first 1/4 mile or so. I passed Briana on her final 400 yards of the run and cheered her on. Excited to see her almost done, but also knowing that meant Karyn was already done. I was officially the last of our Tri Trio on the course. But sorrow did not set in. I looked at my watch and said "You can do this and you can finish before 10am" and the self motivation talk started:
You can do this
You are strong
You are a fighter
This injury will not define you
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime
I picked up some speed, got some high fives from a few elites who were on their 2nd lap of the run (they completed the entire course 2x) and finished before 10am. In fact I finished the run in like 18mins with a torn hamstring!
My final race time was 1:41 03 - and my Family and friends were on the other side cheering me on. I found Bill and embraced him with tears coming down my face. I had completed the race. I had set a goal and I had finished it. I had overcome a torn hamstring & bike issues to complete my first Tri and I was alive!!
I had said all along it wasn't about a time it was about finishing the race. Setting a goal and completing it. But who was I kidding, in my head I had made my own little competition and time. However, on the bike that 2nd loop I began to face the reality that I wasn't going to make that time and now more than ever it was about finishing. I am happy with my time. I am happy that I overcame everything to still finish. Plus, I can now say ........
I am a Tri-athlete! I finished a Triathlon.
Bring on next Tri season - bring it on.
Yep, you heard that right, this off season while I am training for the Tinkerbell I will be also eyeing down that 1:41 - I will squash that time next year, just after I get my own road bike!
And let's not forget about my girls. The ones who saw me through till the end. Who were there through all the tears and sweat. Who never said "No" and who completed this Tri with me. Karyn and Briana - You are both Amazing & Strong women who I am proud to have trained and raced alongside. Thanks for joining me on this wild & crazy ride. I love you both!
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